the habit of being

We were sitting after yoga and I was see-through. My skin was gone. I had my eyes closed and then I opened them and it was still the same. The room was dark and there were other people sitting and I was transparent.

The teacher said follow your breath but I couldn’t. I was barely breathing. I didn’t need to breathe because I didn’t have any skin and all the air was already inside. There was nothing between me and the air. It was inside me and outside me and in the other people sitting, all at the same time. I didn’t need to do anything about that.

I sat there and tried not to think of how I could not feel my hands or my arms or my legs or anything at all except the air. Then I started to get dizzy.

By the time we chanted “Aum” I was feeling downright sick. I wasn’t transparent anymore. I stayed on my mat for a long time after class was over.

When I changed out of my yoga clothes there was a mirror. I looked in it and smiled. I was very beautiful. The other people changing were very beautiful too. It was all the same beauty.